It’s the obligatory NYE post. Here’s what’s on my mind.

I’m melancholy. There are tears in my eyes, some sadness, some hopefulness, but mostly I’m exhausted. I am so very tired. I have truly given so much of myself in these past 50 years, and it feels like this year seemed to take even more out of me. It’s not the fault of 2021 — this I know — it’s just the year that my head and my heart took stock of the people who held space in my life, and I’ve learned that so much of what I poured out appears to have been quite a bit of a waste. That’s a hard, nasty pill to swallow, but I will keep it 100 with myself from now on.

I deserved better than what I received from too many people who benefited from my generous loving heart. I deserved better, but I allowed myself to settle and to tolerate, all the while pushing myself down, suppressing Reese, and that has been flippin exhausting. I deserve better from myself.

So as I look forward, I am planning on getting my rest. I will be resting from the foolishness, from the avoidable disappointments, from the pursuits of relationships that only drain my spirit, from the elements that serve to keep me tired. Instead, I am filling my life with time well spent — time well spent with family and friends who are family, time well spent reading wonderful books and exploring my creative soul, time well spent listening to Adele, time well spent challenging myself with yoga and strength training, and time well spent with Jesus. I am worth the effort.